“Security V The Unknown” (The Struggle Is Real)

The struggle is real!

Okay, so I feel like I am being tested by the universe to see how bad I really want to follow through with my dream of hitting the open road with Zero.  And I have to say, the universe is doing one heck of a job tempting me to stay!  So how am I being tested? Well, let me tell ya…
So I was hired on at a restaurant a while back and we are finally about to open.  (Like I said in the past, gotta work for a bit to make this future reality happen!) Anyway, I have worked in the restaurant industry on and off since I was 18 years old (and I am about to hit 44…whoa!) . I have been a server, hostess, head hostess, assistant manager, etc.  I love the restaurant industry. I like the fast pace of it all, I like how you are not stuck in one chair all day (like some office jobs I have had), I like making sure the guest has a great experience….like I really enjoy the work.

Well, this new place will be needing a hostess manager, assistant manager and a few floor managers. And that’s where the struggle starts.  Although I want to ditch “normal” society and just chill, mediate, do yoga, explore and travel with Zero, there is the other side to me. The other side of me is very driven, dedicated, focused, competitive, and wants to be the best. I have started two businesses on my own, graduated college with a 4.0 GPA, was named to the National Deans List, and graduated summa cum laude. I am not saying all of this to brag, but to show that I like to succeed and push myself.  So to see that these management postilions available is really tempting.  Not only would I enjoy the work, it would be a good paying job with some security.

 

Security is a nice thing to have, ya know? Like to know I could have a good paying job at something I enjoy is super tempting. Like I start thinking, “well, what if I stayed for just a bit longer”…”what if I stay and work and just take more vacations”… Like to know my bills would be paid, I would have security, and I wouldn’t have to try and figure out all the stuff that goes along with turning your whole world upside-down and become a traveling nomad….yeah, it can be a nice thought, however….

The other voice chimes in and says “if you don’t do this now, when?”.

There is never going to be a perfect time to sell all your belongings, pack up and take off. There will always be some reason you can find to postpone it.  Now if I had been on the road for a while and decided I didn’t like it…that I prefer to have roots…and then this opportunity came along, I would be over the moon. But I just can’t let myself get derailed.  If I don’t do this now, I really feel it would never happen. I would get settled in this job and slowly the distractions of the job would replace my dreams of being on the road until this whole idea was just a memory …and then a regret.

And as silly as this might sound to some people I really am doing this as much for Zero as myself. I cannot wait to get her out and exploring and let her be a “dog”, ya know? I really believe 100% that she is gong to just love everything about this and to be able to give her a life like that just makes my heart happy. She s 12 yrs old so I want to go now while she can still enjoy everything!

I wanted to share this struggle because I believe (some) people think if you want to live this different type of lifestyle, then you are unmotivated or even lazy and that there is no struggle between wanting to have success and achieve things and wanting to give it all up…but there is…for me at least.  It’s just that, for me, right now,  the desire to follow through with this is greater than the desire for achievement.

I’m curious would this be a struggle for you? Would it be easier for you to blow everything off and take off? Or would you want to stay and hit that success? Comment and let me know 🙂

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